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from the thoughts of COMA

Something's wrong with me…I don't need a soul to see

Can't let them find out what's inside, otherwise they'll realize

They've been had by someone close to them

Can't let them realize I'm fake deep inside

They've been had by someone close to them

I can't seem to be the person I want to be

 

I just can't help but please your every want…it seems to set me free

I can't see why you need to be with me…I think you do it out of pity

And when I ask for your help or when things aren't as perfect as you'd like them to be, will you run away and fall into another's arms? Another friend or another lover to comfort you when I'm in need…can you change your emotions so easily? Is your heart so fragile that you can suddenly feel so differently…I don't want to be around people that are so fickle…tell me you care, but only if you mean it…please...otherwise I don't want to hear it…no, I don't need to be around you…my heart is fragile, I don't need people that will hurt me. I’m worth more than that…aren't I? Please don't hurt me.

Do you still want to be close to me? How can I know for real that what you say is true…today you feel this way, but tomorrow will you? Don't want to show you what's inside because it has nothing to do with you and you'll just tear it in two…HELP ME…SOMEONE PLEASE, HELP ME…PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, OH MY GOD, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME…I want to scream for you in agony, but something keeps me quiet. I don’t mean to scare you away, my close someone, but I need you to tell me it's okay to be just myself and no one else because I can't keep this up anymore. But if I hear it, will I even believe it? I’m suffocating myself, ready to end my life just to please all of you. I'm reaching out for a hand before I fall in too deep for my own good. I'm not good enough for me…how can I be good enough for you?

But I can't share this with you…you'll never see it…it's just for me…… I beg God that he gives me the strength to show you this. My friends, lover, and family I need you to know how I feel. What's so real to me is hurtful and I just can't feel safe anymore. I need to be able to breath again and this is not helping me…I'm sure. What's wrong with me…why can't I just trust those close to me? Why does everything that comes from your mouth sound like lies to me? I don't hate you…I hate me. I love you all…why can't I just love me? What's wrong with me…what's fucking wrong with me? No…maybe it's you…it's you…I can't trust any of you…or is it me? What should I believe…which part of me is right and why am I So confused. I love you all…I just seem to hate me.